


breathin

by springxday



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Simon is oblivious, basically penny and baz conspire to make simon jealous, baz is awkward, fake dating but more like just fake flirting, i'm sorry the pov in this fic is a Mess, lapslock, penny is a WINGWOMAN, we love gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 19:20:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16165286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springxday/pseuds/springxday
Summary: penny knows. baz knows that penny knows. simon doesn't know anything at all. penny and baz decide to team up to make simon know, via some incredibly fake flirting.





	breathin

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt "oh my god! you're in love with him!"
> 
> this is my first fic on ao3 and the last time i wrote fic was in like 2014 whEW pls be gentle! i hope you like the awkward happenings of penny trying to make simon fall head over heels for baz :)
> 
> the timing of this fic w the dragon scene and everything is just a little fucked up but we'll pretend like its not okay
> 
> also follow my twitter uwu @JOONSP4CE

penny is on a mission.

baz had been acting really fucking weird. like, stranger and more menacing than usual. if that was even possible. it was like simon even breathing made him grit his teeth and curl his lip but like… worse than normal.

she sighs, blowing a long lilac curl out of her face huffily as she stomps up the spiral stairs of mummers house. hopefully baz wouldn’t be in their room when she got there because she’s just trying to look for simon and she’s had enough of his shit.

the door bangs open loudly as penny kicks against it, and at the opposite end of the room, a tall, dark figure freezes in sync with her. penny’s eyes go wide and she pushes her glasses up her nose impatiently to peer in disbelief at what she’s seeing.

baz pitch is sat on his roommate simon snow’s bed, clutching at a pillow absentmindedly as he stares at the little polaroids tacked on the wall, head tilted to the side like a puppy. penny had helped simon put those up - cute snapshots of herself, simon and agatha, a blurry photo of some christmas cookies and a crackling fireplace, a closeup of simon in an oversized grey sweater and smiling with his whole face, an action shot of the two girls running at full speed alongside the moat.

(penny had helped with that one, had tampered with the camera just enough for it to be untraceable by watford’s anti-technology defences).

penny lets out the faintest gasp, and she slaps her hand over her mouth as baz turns to her, fingers ceasing their playing with the corner of the pillowcase. his eyes slowly trail up from the floor to meet penny’s own, and it is then that she sees the almost tortured look of pain written all over his face.

“basilton.”

penny sees the hollow look in his eyes harden; she sees his jaw clench harshly. she watches a gulp trail its way down baz’s throat.

“oh my god. you’re… in love with him.”

immediately, the fire ignites in baz’s charcoal eyes and he launches forward off the bed with a broken snarl, muttering, “if you even -“

all at once, the door flies open and simon snow tumbles through, all wild eyes and hair and looking pleasantly dishevelled. penny’s eyes are as round as coins as she looks from simon to baz, and watches the latter exhale softly, his gaunt cheeks colouring just the faintest, faintest pink.

“penny! i was looking all over for -“ “simon, come on, we’re going, baz obviously doesn't want us here,” penny mutters quickly, grabbing simon’s wrist and ignoring his bemused expression as she marches them out the door. and just before it swings shut, she glances over her shoulder at baz pitch, stood in the centre of the room with a stony look on his face.

the beginnings of a smirk stretch over her face as she turns away. penelope bunce is nothing if not known for loving a challenge.

* * *

“basil, i honestly don’t know what i’d do without you and this whiteboard in this case,” penny sighs as she drapes herself over the side of simon’s desk in defeat. decade-old newspapers are scattered around and piled on every spare surface in their room, all thoroughly pored over for the mention of nicodemus to no avail. baz whips his head up and lowers his wand from where he was muttering searching spells into the pages of an old watford history book to blink at her, his eyes swirling in confusion.

on the other bed, she hears simon make a grunt of indignation before she feels half a scone hit her shoulder and roll onto the floor, crumbs falling everywhere. penny eyes simon accusatorially, watching him shrink away just a little as she states matter-of-factly, “you are so lucky there wasn't any jam or cream on that.” he smiles sheepishly and she rolls her eyes. typical.

“i suppose you’re helping out too, simon, but baz, you’re a _genius_. no wonder you’re beating me in school.”

at that, simon and baz whip their heads up in complete synchronisation, and penny almost has to stifle a snicker as she watches their expressions. simon looks offended at her admittance of defeat without putting up a fight, but baz is staring at her with a completely unreadable expression. she watches him evenly as he ever so slightly quirks an eyebrow and drawls, “thank you, bunce.”

simon suddenly gets up and announces that he was going to go pee, side eyeing the two of them suspiciously as he heads into the bathroom.

as soon as the door clicks shut, baz turns to penny with a dark look in his eyes. “what the hell are you up to.” he says bluntly. it’s not a question.

“oh, don’t be like that, baz! i have a plan,” penny whispers conspiratorially, a cheshire cat smile breaking over her face. “simon isn’t going to know what hit him.”

baz stares at her, non-plussed and a little doubtful, but before he can reply the man himself walks between them and sits down on his bed, pushing his jaw out in a silent challenge. god, everything is a challenge with these two. penny sighs, long and low.

“get off my bed, snow.”

“make me.”

* * *

”baz, you are _so_ tall.”

simon and baz both snap their heads in penny’s direction, baz lowering his arm from where he is reaching to grab a book from the top shelf of the library. the slight sliver of skin peeking out from under his shirt disappears as he returns his arm to his side.

baz puffs his chest out just a little and squares his shoulders. “yes, i suppose i am.”

penny eyes her best friend out of the corner of her glasses, noticing with a sharp rush of vindication that simon is avoiding looking at any part of baz, his eyes darting around the room uncomfortably.

“i bet you could pick simon up easily.” penny actually snorts at the horrified looks on their faces.

“wha - why the hell would i want to do that, bunce?” baz hisses, eyes flashing dangerously. penny smiles sweetly, ignoring simon’s choking splutters next to her.

“just making an observation, basilton.”

* * *

“aleister crowley, baz, i wish i had your cheekbones,” penny whines, rubbing the side of her face and pulling her cheeks as she scrutinises her reflection in the window. the sun has just slipped behind a tree, casting an amber glow into the room, and it makes simon’s hair glow a rusty bronze. penny looks at baz in the window and pretends not to notice his eyes trained on the other boy. she smiles softly.

it takes baz a couple of seconds to really register what penny has said, but when he does, he schools his expression into something more neutral and tries to hide the smirk which is ever so slightly creeping across his face.

“many do, bunce, many do,” baz says, a hint of arrogance leaking into his voice the way penny imagines he’s trained it to, the way all the pitches have trained it to.

penny watches through the window as simon sleepily looks up from the photos of her and micah he's looking at on her illegal phone and focuses on baz’s face. he furrows his brow just a tad and his eyes flicker up to meet baz’s own. penny struggles to hide her glee as baz stares simon down coolly, no change of expression noticeable in his steely, questioning gaze.

they hold eye contact defiantly, staring each other down until simon’s cheeks stain the colour of rosy champagne and he looks down quickly. baz looks at him for a moment longer, raising that damn eyebrow, and then turns to meet penny’s grin splitting her face in half in the window. he scoffs and looks away, but the unmistakeable hint of a real smile ghosts across his expression.

* * *

simon lies awake at night, the blackness of the room threatening to swallow him whole. he has no idea what time it is. two am? three? he feels absolutely restless, his insides still tingling with the magic from earlier in the day. he doesn’t know if it’ll ever go back to feeling like normal after his and baz’s little magic-sharing stunt.

he sighs and rolls over, grinning into his pillow despite himself. _you have to admit, it was pretty cool taking down a fully grown dragon by sharing your magic with your worst enemy_ , he thinks, exhaling.

and he felt so alive. most of the time when his magic spills to the surface he feels like an atom bomb, like a machine malfunctioning and spitting electricity everywhere. when he goes off, he feels like the start of a black hole. but with baz channelling the energy always threatening to spill out of him, and throwing it into a powerful spell, he felt clean, felt like a cool body of water which was tame and yet raging. he felt in control for one of the first times since coming to watford. it was exhilarating.

simon rolls over again, trying and again failing to get comfortable. he blinks his eyes open blearily and focuses on baz, who is facing him for once, mouth slightly open and he might be imagining it but is that a little bit of pointed tooth peeking out? knew it.

he breathes out slowly and wets his lips with his tongue, noticing with a tiny pang of elation that baz’s droopy dog eyes don't look quite so droopy when they are relaxed with sleep, something he hasn't seen on baz’s face much. he must be tired. simon knows he is - all this searching for his mother’s killer with next to no results is taking a toll on all three of them.

slowly, simon feels himself finally, finally being lulled into sleep, his eyes slipping shut and his breathing becoming deep and calm. he dreams of stars and natasha grimm-pitch and a little boy with sun-tanned skin and kind eyes.

* * *

“baz, your soap smells so much nicer than that school-issued stuff simon uses,” penny proclaims loudly as she marches her way out of their bathroom and sits herself in baz’s chair. “it’s so… sweet. and rich. it’s nice.”

simon, without looking up from the book his nose is buried in, calmly argues, “it’s more of a musky smell actually. like bergamot.”

he only looks up when he hears nothing but silence and meets baz and penny staring at him. blinking, he says, “what? i’ve lived with him for seven years!”

penny just smiles hugely at baz, who is frowning and blush-pink and goddammit why did he have to drain that rabbit in the Wavering Wood -

“i guess you have, simon.”

she promptly ignores baz’s scandalised expression.

* * *

simon is thinking so deeply he almost doesn't hear the door open and penny wander in lightly. his mind is whirling, stuck on how baz walked penny home the night before, after their weird conversation about the soap. that’s awfully gentlemanly of him, simon thinks. very out of character. and he knows penny has micah but he can’t help but wonder if…

his thoughts are interrupted by the faint sound of old bed springs creaking and he turns his head to see penny flopping straight onto baz’s bed and dropping her head delicately into his lap. simon tenses up immediately, expecting harsh words and arrogant rejections to drip from baz’s lips, but all he sees is baz freeze ever so slightly and then relax, settling further back against the wall and closing his eyes.

simon’s brain starts to hurt. what the fuck? that seems a little coupley. and penny has micah but maybe they broke up and maybe penny didn't tell simon but that kind of seems like something penny would tell simon so maybe it’s not penny flirting intentionally but maybe she feels bad because she knows baz has a crush on her and she’s trying to let him off easy - wait oh my god does baz have a crush on penny? he whips his head in their direction again and watches intently as penny softly says, “we have to avenge your mother baz. she was a legend,” and baz agrees with a nod and an uneasy swallow.

simon watches baz’s throat bob and thinks way too hard. maybe penny and baz really do like each other. it’s not like they wouldn't suit each other, after all - both wickedly smart with mouths and wit to match, both from respectable families, although penny not nearly as rich as baz is. he didn't realise penny genuinely liked baz, he had thought she just appreciated his company and good looks - good looks?

simon peers at baz some more, his closed eyes and dark eyelashes brushing his cheekbones, his sharp eyebrows and that hell of a widow’s peak. _yeah_ , he guesses, _his_ _good looks_.

he keeps his eyes trained on the pair, trying not to seem creepy as he watches them speak in soft voices and strains his ears to hear.

*

“do you think it’s working? i’ve been trying to be as sneaky as possible but this is a bit overt,” penny stage-whispers, and baz cracks one lazy eye open to stare at simon staring at them. his eyes flutter open and he looks at simon through his lashes, furrowing his brow when his nose starts to twitch.

“i can smell his magic. something’s up.”

almost as if on cue, simon gets up from his bed abruptly and mumbles something about needing to go for a walk. he ambles out of the room, penny and baz watching him go silently and feeling him take the magic threatening to overflow with him.

when the door falls shut, penny wriggles around in his lap in celebration, her face bearing a shit-eating grin, and baz swats at her arm impatiently. “shut up, bunce, it’s probably just because you’re getting so cozy with his Plotting Vampire Enemy.” it doesn't wipe the smile off her face.

after a little while, penny decides she should leave, and she exits with a hugely overdramatic wink. baz rolls his eyes and throws himself back onto his head, one arm swinging up to cover his face and his knee propped up. he sighs.

not even five seconds pass before the door is slamming open and he smells simon’s magic walk in. baz sighs again and prepares himself for the worst.

“do you like her?”

baz takes his arm away from his face and cranes his neck up, bewildered. “wellbelove?”

“don’t be a fucking idiot, baz. do you like penny?”

baz settles back and lets his head fall onto his pillow, staring up at the ceiling. “yeah, i like her well enough.”

“but do you _like_ her?”

“well snow, if i did, i don't see how its any of your business.” baz scoffs, trying not to slip up. he can feel the deafening thickness of simon’s magic slowly clouding around him, can smell the smoke which is making him dizzy.

“but it is. you’re _my_ roommate.”

“and what does that have to do with anything?”

he tilts his head up again to see simon is frowning at the floor, his feet scuffing on the wooden floorboards. he breathes in deeply, the smokiness engulfing him. “snow, stop it. you’re going to set the room on fire.”

baz is thrown for a loop when simon looks up at him almost pleadingly, his eyes earnest and bluer than blue.

“well, it’s just that - i wanted - i don’t see how she - i might have to talk to penny about - ” “use your words, snow.” “ah, forget it,” he stammers, going into the bathroom.

baz flops back on the bed once again, arm covering his eyes. but then suddenly he feels a scorching pressure on his lips and someone is covering his mouth with their mouth and he can’t breathe but it’s kind of completely fine because all he can taste is simon snow’s bloody smoke.

simon reaches out and clutches at the side of baz’s face and neck, fingers brushing his hair as he kisses baz firmly but almost shy at the same time. it’s like he’s still nervous that baz is going to punch him in the nose. but baz doesn't want to do that at all, so he sucks simon’s bottom lip into his mouth gently and feels simon’s shaky breath on his face as he pulls back.

baz sinks into the mattress below him and stares at simon, stunned, his eyes wide and alight.

“so, do you like penny?” simon says cheekily, but his eyes betray him as they search worriedly for something that says baz’ll hate him, that he’ll push him off and reject him -

“how could i ever pay attention to her when you’re around, simon,” baz sighs all in one breath, leaning up on his elbow and dragging simon’s lips back down to his. he kisses him sweet and soft, trying desperately to tell simon what he’s been keeping under his skin for all these years, how long he’s wanted this for.

he buries his fingers in simon’s ridiculous thatch of curls atop his head and pulls just a little, making simon make a small noise in the back of his throat and causing baz to drop his head back onto the pillow, breathing heavily, their eyes closed and lips barely brushing.

“what?”

“you are so _fucking_ beautiful,” baz says almost angrily. dark green-grey eyes peer up at blue ones and they meet in the middle again, lips crashing into each other harshly. they bump noses a little and it’s not perfect, but for once he’s too happy to care.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much!


End file.
